After not speaking to my Mom for years, I ended up moving to Atlanta for some of my 10th grade year. It was not shortly after she kicked me out and I moved in with a girlfriend and her parents. My Dad was not interested in me returning to Greenville, and my Mom and I were in a bad place having had a real deal physical fight. She told me if she had a baseball bat “she would bash my fucking brains in.”
I started school in Roswell, Ga and made friends fast, the old fashioned way. Partying, shoplifting, and using my sexuality for attention. I was finally becoming sexy, and girls wanted to be my friend. It wasn’t shortly after I turned on my bestie roomie, for a new and improved version bestie, which introduced me to two guys who took us out one night and left his 9MM in the back seat of her car. She was so terrified, I told her I would take it and hide it. I had no idea what to do with it so when I returned home to my girlfriends house, I hid it in a backgammon game in what I thought was a junk closet.
The next day after school my Dad was there.
My girlfriends little sister found the gun while playing in the closet. It was loaded. It was a miracle she did not kill herself. I was obviously kicked out and on my way back to South Carolina with my heartbroken father. I could not explain enough to him that this was not mine, and I didn’t know what to do with it, and what a terrible mistake this was etc., but he nor my girlfriends parents wanted to hear a single word from me ever again. I never talked to them again and it took a long time before my Dad was speaking to me again also.
As a single parent today, even recollecting these stories gives me great pain. I can not imagine what I put him through. Not at all. I understand now why he had a prescription for Xanax. He said it was for flying. I wonder if that were true.
I truly can not believe he didn’t have a heart attack thanks to me. Though he is in heaven now, I still apologize to him for these things and more, and spent the balance of his life doing just that until the passed away. I’m so sorry, Dad.