Muffin

I married the love of my life this past August. There are only a handful of people who really understand how much we mutually love each other. There is no doubt in my mind that this is rare. 

I lived in an abusive marriage for close to eight years and before that, countless failed relationships. I wanted to be in love more than anything. I had only been in love once before.

I typically date the easy attainable and some real losers, because I felt I could do no better. I have been courted by extremely successful men, way out of my league, however in no time at all I’d discover the relationship is nothing but sexual. I never understood why nobody wanted to actually date me, because I think I’m pretty cool.

My dating life after my divorce and having children, was a lot harder than I expected. I know that I am attractive and I can turn heads if you have a penis, however substance is what I was after.
When I met Micah online, it was after I decided to take a man hiatus. I had about a year and a half of unsuccessful online dating. I even started a blog about it. Some of the most horrible stories, horrible men, and let downs. My self-esteem was in the garbage. 

Some know the story, some don’t. I will detail it in another blog because it’s pretty cool however where I am trying to go with us is, he and I both think we were meant to be. We mutually think we are soulmates.

We have a type of chemistry that is off the charts. He is 6 feet tall, 240 pounds, and swings a giant bone. I want to bang him ALL THE TIME!!!! Honeymoon phase or not, he is by far the sexiest man I’ve ever been with, in my life. Until my libido is in the toilet, I’m going to take advantage of this hot man being my husband.  

Aside from our sexual chemistry, he is my absolute best friend. He and I connect like we have known each other our whole lives. We hate not being together and light up when we do. There is nothing he doesn’t know about me, and loves me just the same. We are always trying to make each other feel validated and important. We try and out please one another constantly. 

I have always been a giver. I have always felt taken advantage of. I have always felt used and under appreciated until I met Micah. He makes me feel cool and beautiful. He makes me feel amazing EVERY DAY. 

He and I are opposite in so many ways. He is gentle and kind. I am a bull in a China shop with a giant mouth. I am offensive, he is playful. I love him for all of our opposites and having found someone who brings out the best in me and helps me see things differently. 

Micah is a gentle giant, but he’s also a man. Just because he doesn’t slap me around and get in bar brawls doesn’t mean he can’t hold his own.

I call him muffin, short for love muffin. A term of endearment that was meant as an oxymoron. He’s a big, giant, hairy, 18 wheel truck driver, and far from a “muffin” anything. We find it funny, and like it, though some have taken this nickname as some kind of tag for male submission. I assure you, the only one submitting here, is me. If you’d like to test his masculinity, I’m sure he can think of a few creative ways to show you otherwise. 

It irks me to see people waiting for the shoe to drop. Actually wanting our honeymoon to end. Forgetting I used to get punched in the face and pushed and threatened. It’s unfortunate that I still surround myself with people who are toxic and enjoy my pain. It reminds me though, that I’m very lucky. It reminds me that my new found fortune is making others envy me, and I should be thankful. 
The older I get, the less I care.

I wish I was giving Micah my best self. I’m old now, majorly overweight, on medication for high blood pressure and anxiety. I wish I had met him earlier in life, but then again I probably wouldn’t have appreciated him so much. He is what I’ve been waiting for and he’s here. He’s actually next to me as I write this.

So for the haters that will follow my blog to see me fail, I’m sorry to disappoint you. For the people who appreciate some real honesty, just stay tuned. I’m just getting started.

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Author: jtreska

My name is Julie Treska. I am a 39 year old maniac, mother of 2, step-mother of 2, and wife, to one amazing husband, Micah. I am a sister, a friend, an acquaintance, a colleague, a neighbor... possibly an enemy, a threat, an ex, but one thing I am known for is being 100% real. This is one more of many blogs I've written in my life. Maybe one that I'll keep. It's going to be one giant cluster fuck, of what makes me, me. I am a divorcee', a parent, a woman, a cancer survivor, a divorce survivor, a survivor of many, many things. I am a cook, a writer, a motivational speaker, a pain in the ass, and an inspiration. I am career driven and successful. I am a one percenter, but run out of money every two weeks. I am funny, I am honest, I am raw, and unapologetic. I hope I am able to relate to many, entertain some, and envy a few. I am a bad ass in most everything I do.

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